I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
