I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
