She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
