Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
