we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
