The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
