drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Edward fifth and chaser hands
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize