Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
