i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
