I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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