How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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