just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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