What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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