belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
