I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
