Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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