please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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