but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
