i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
