i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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