So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We smell like vodka and hangover
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