i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
MIDGETS
????
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
