I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
