This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize