This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
