It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
where are you?
Hypothermia
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
