I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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