idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
