Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
