tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
