Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
