The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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