I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
