Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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