You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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