so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
