Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
