I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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