yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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