just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
