Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
