my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
