:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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