highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
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i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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