a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dear god my vagina.
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