ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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