I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
