I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
