It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
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im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
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she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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