i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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