Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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