So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
