tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
