do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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