Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
BRING THE BAGELS
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
