a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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