so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
