the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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