Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
