He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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