you guys were way drunker than both of me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
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Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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