Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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