We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
