Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Randomize
