I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Two words: blizzard sex
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