She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
