i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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