I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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