What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
